I’ve found hell on Earth

It’s my house, every night between 7:30 pm and (insert random time here).

  • It’s time to take a bath
  • No not that much soap
  • Yes this is plenty of water
  • No the water doesn’t need to go past your belly button
  • Get off your brother
  • Someone needs to get outta the tub first
  • STOP splashing
  • You need to dry yourself off
  • Yes you do know how to dry yourself off
  • Stop eating the toothpaste
  • Did you brush your back teeth?
  • Get OFF your brother
  • Okay pajamas on
  • Yes they are hard to get on cause you didn’t dry yourself off
  • Which story do we want to read tonight?
  • No we can’t read 4 books
  • Fine I’ll pick the damn story
  • LAY down
  • No I don’t know where your little blanket is
  • You need to lay down
  • You are sticking your butt in the air. That is NOT laying down
  • Fine go get a drink of water. And go pee while you’re at it. You are not getting up again!
  • Turn the light off
  • Yes I will lay down with you for 5 minutes
  • Yes it has been 5 minutes
  • Good night. I love you (insert hugs & kisses here)
  • Let go. I can’t breathe
  • BE QUIET in there and go to sleep
  • No I will not lay down with you again
  • (3 minute lag time)
  • QUUUIEEEEEEET!

Repeat some variation of this again tomorrow night…

Let’s talk about the hell that is bedtime!