house hunters

I am completely addicted to this show.  Let me be clear: I can NOT get enough of this show.  Regular.  International. Whatever. Just let me watch my House Hunters! The more episodes I can squeeze into my day, the better. I’m not lying when I say a repeat can put me over the edge.  Into the depths of a horribly, foul mood.

I love to escape into the land of me purchasing a million dollar home on a warm island.  Hell, I enjoy escaping to the land of buying a $140k house in Oklahoma. I love snooping into other people’s homes. How is it staged? What colors did they use? I just love this shit!  It seems so simple.  Here are 3 great options to choose from; one of them is obviously gonna work out perfect.  The couple has a nice, peaceful conversation over the options and comes to a pleasant agreement in nice restaurant/cafe setting. Why wouldn’t I want to be watching this everyday?

The Husband and I are house hunting.  And I call bullshit on House Hunters!  We are mostly looking to change school districts. We want a better school for our kids without going private. This good school district requirement means suburbia (oh wait, I just threw up a bit in mouth!) I grew up in the suburbs. At the bottom of a cul-de-sac. We were surrounded by, and my mother was, a stay-at-home mom. I had more than a handful of kids to play kick the can with or ride big wheels. We had a dead end that we took over & made into a baseball field. Suburbia rocked. When I was 10.

I’m now a Mom and am supposed to providing the best for my kids. I do drive a minivan so I guess the next requirement is Suburbia to get the great schools. Had I written this on Saturday, it would have gone something like this: Every house looks exactly the same and each neighborhood looks exactly the same. Can I change the shutters cause I don’t like dark green or burgundy? Why do people live here? Does anyone pull into their neighbors house late at night and wonder why nothing looks the same inside?

I was defeated. Then we found what I’ll call “the house.” On the outside, it’s very similar to the others. It is the 2 story brick facade, garage to the side (my preference), shutters need changed from green to black.  But walk inside and I heard angels singing. Day before all I heard was “why is baby poop yellow/brown/orange the most popular color and why does every house have it?”

Now today I’m just in a panic. Obviously everyone else in the world looking for houses is going to want this house.  It’s only been on the market for 4 days. I’ve got to act quickly. I can’t lose this one. This must be mine. It had daffodils on the kitchen windowsill. Daffodils are my favorite. SO IT’S A SIGN! This house must be mine.

Nevermind, that I haven’t seen the house disclosures yet or read the HOA rules (must. get. rid. of truck on blocks.) Nevermind, that I still own this house and traffic is slow at best. Nevermind that we have yet to talk to our lender about owning 2 houses at once.

Nevermind all that.  I found our new house! And I know how this works. The Husband and I need to find a cute, little cafe, have a peaceful conversation and viola, the house will be OURS!