This is what I say when it’s time to wake people up in this house. Don’t ask me why. It’s simply what I say & it just makes sense. Obvious, logical sense.
Recently a road trip took us thru Columbus, past a super stinky sewer plant. Now whenever someone in this family needs to go No. 2 we say “I need to take a trip to Columbus.” Or if one of the kids has wandered off in the house, we’ll shout “Hey! Where are you?” (We all know how dangerous it can be when they get quiet.) A little voice now yells out “I’m going to Columbus.” Yeh, makes me laugh too!
We do, however, use the real names for our body parts. No “who who’s”, “vajayjays” or “mr snakeys” in this house. Which makes what I shout in the morning much less awkward. I do promise though, like all really good moms, that I will teach H the term muffin top. (Now, if only I could find one. Anyone? Anyone?!?? It’d be so much easier to show than tell.)
Why do I bring all of this up? Probably for the safety of my children. The next time you visit or the kids spend the night at your house, they may wake up & proclaim:
“WAKEY, wakey mr snakey!” and then, (just like their father. I digress. but really how can someone be so regular) right after breakfast: “I need to take a trip to Columbus!”
It’s all good. No need to call Child Services just yet.