the ponies

We closed on our new house last Friday and although we haven’t officially moved, we spent the weekend in the new house.  Since we haven’t officially moved none of our stuff was with us so we spent the weekend in a very fancy fashion – air mattresses and card tables. (Remember, we are moving on up.)

Here’s a photog of our fanciness.  I think the card table from Our House, not quite Arhaus, looks real nice. I may just keep it!  And the red solo cups….hello beer pong fancy new neighbors.

Let’s now address the fancy new neighbors. I don’t know that they are, but I’m new to this suburbia concept so I’m coming in with stereotypes a’blazin’.  Let’s start with meeting the couple that previously owned the house who we met at closing. They could. not. have. been. nicer!!  “The wife” is about as outgoing as I am and we had a lovely, easy banter about our new place, their move across the street from the subdivision, where to get our nails done and who can cut the grass. Seems I’ve got a lunch date to schedule once I get down there.  I could not be more grateful for her being so nice and welcoming and I believe I may have a new friend. We exchanged phone numbers and she’s already left me a voicemail this week saying that she can’t stop thinking about me knowing how difficult it can be to move, knowing we haven’t moved down there yet and is there anything she can do to help? She knows all the neighbors and would make any phone calls if I needed anything.  (Thank you Kate!) (And NO! current Kate, you aren’t being replaced so get it outta your head.  Yes, I’m in your head while you are reading this. Love, me!)

And then did we meet any of the other neighbors?  Not really, the weather was drizzly so not a large number of people were out.  There were some strollers, and walkers, and “mommie’s” in track suits and blonde ponytails (oh, yeh! I look just the same. I look exactly the same!) One of the next door neighbors did introduce himself and we’ve met our first P&G’er.  We’ve heard lots of folks in the neighborhood work for Procter & Gamble. (TANGENT: Dear Christine, if I don’t start getting my JIF natural creamy samples and Folgers Vanilla Biscotti k-cups, I’m going to have to switch companies and try for some Crest and, and, something else I buy from P&G but just can’t think of it right now!)

Back to the neighbors: Since we’ve previously lived in this new city we had a few friends come by and shared some beverages in the backyard.  It’s really the only way I know to christen a house. (insert dirty comments here about christening options). Post impromptu party in the backyard, we walked around front and I saw the following:

WHAT THE WHAT? None of these properties have acreage so, um, WHAT THE WHAT? Based on balloons attached to the mailbox, I realized it was new neighbor’s daughter’s birthday party. WHAT THE WHAT? Apparently, in new suburban neighborhood we rent ponies for birthday parties. As I’ve said and will continue to say, I cannot host a birthday party in my own home let alone a party with ponies crapping in my front yard. The bar has been raised. I’ve been given several quality recommendations on how to handle the situation:

1). Have my father bring up his horses for Hannah’s birthday next year and trot those up and down the street.

2). Wear my pajama pants over there and kindly ask what kind of dogs those are.

3). Rent an inflatable mechanical bull and set-up in the front yard for our housewarming party.

All of these are excellent recommendations and are under serious consideration. After the first weekend here’s my take on the new ‘hood: the blonde ponytails in track suits, the pony renters and stroller pushers probably like Pinot Grigio just as much as me and Ramona from the RHNY so I’m hopeful all is gonna be just fine.

So HELLO new neighbors!  I look forward meeting you.  (Oh – ignore the dent in the van. I’ll fix it some day.)