So this starting over thing is hard. I think the honeymoon phase is over or I’m simply spending a few days in the valley of this new situation. We’ve been down here, not sure why it’s “down here” – guess it’s in relation to the old place – for about a month and a half. And I’ve pretty much found all the stuff. I can master most of the grocery store. I’ve accepted that I’ll be making more trips to WalMart than Target (eek!) just cause it’s closer. I can find my way to the kids camp and we’ve got a few, new favorite restaurants. I’ve even made a doctor’s appt for Hannah Friday morning (nothing serious). So we are officially here.
The stuff is covered but the who’s are missing. And the stuff’s not important. Well some of it is like windows that actually open and the right color bathmat, but I need some who’s. I’ve been lucky enough to find a great new friend through my husband. I’ve bumped into an old friend from years ago and I’m trying to meet up with a few others in the coming weeks. What’s missing is the:
“Hey KGB – let’s hit the Pub tonight. I’m picking you up in 20 minutes!”
“E – whatta ya doing with the kids this weekend?”
“Hey all – I’m in desperate need of a mommie’s night. Here’s the whens & wheres!”
“Hey neighbors – drinks on your porch tonight? Breakfast & coffee at our house Sunday morning with the kids?”
“Former 14th floorers – Clevelander Tuesday night 6pm?”
I don’t have my handful of girls that are only a phone call away that could meet up almost anytime. I’ve had to kill all those habits. Dead. Sure I can still call them but there’s no quality face time. No quality “I might still be drunk from last night’s big party and stinky but I’m still at Easter Brunch at your house. Sorry about the smell.”
I don’t have those friends down here. Yet. I know they will come. But with SO. MUCH. HARD. work. The forced hellos at the neighborhood pool hoping it turns into a conversation – will you be my new friend? The forced hellos in the sign up line at camp – will you be my new friend? The planned bike rides & walks around the block when everyone is out – will any of you be my new friend?
Will any of you puh-lease give more than a simple wave or hello so I don’t have to force an awkward conversation upon you?? Could I put myself in any more forced situations wondering if they’ll like me?? ICK
Starting over is hard. Even for us extremely extroverted types. So thanks for feeling sorry for me today…wanna be my new friend? I’ll check for your comments right after I get back from my next forced conversation at the grocery store.