damn you target!

Spent $200. Forgot the toilet paper. That is how I refer to Target. I drop it into casual conversations “Oh that place where I spend $200 and forget the toilet paper? Yeh, I shop there all the time.” The popular kids call it Tarshay. I just think that sounds pompous. (cuz telling people I just dropped $200 on random crap is so much better??!? Yes, I have issues)

This Tarshay place gets me each and every time. Doesn’t matter if I bring a list. I forget to look at it while I’m in a catatonic state throwing random crap into my cart. It’s all so cool. so trendy. so must go home with me. I find myself swiping my check card for $200 and realizing there’s absolutely not a single roll of toilet paper in the bags. But does my house REALLY need more toilet paper? Probably not, but it really does need the, umm, ummm, I can’t even remember what crap I buy there.

Which leads me to our new house. Located with a WalMart (shreeekkkk) much, much closer than the local Target. And as much as I vomit a little bit in my mouth writing the next sentence, I sometimes shop at WalMart now. Yeah, I admit it. And it’s not easy. There’s no cool way to say WalMart. WalMayh just doesn’t have the same panache. There’s no way to make WalMart sound cool to the rest of society. Even the cool kids can’t tell me how to say it!  And yet, I shop there. It’s convenient. I’m a lazy American and I like convenience. And don’t tell me how they abuse workers, they are the crappiest company in the world and all Mom & Pop shops will die because of them. I’ve seen the same stories you have, but I still run there to get new washclothes and wastebaskets. And they’re friggin’ cheap. I don’t shop like I would at Target buying a cartload of random crap, but I shop there nonetheless!

Don’t let me leave you with the wrong impression. I still shop Target and it’s more than worth the few extra miles to get there. I just don’t go as frequently, we don’t go just to do something with the kids (oh, I know you do too. I saw you there!) and I probably won’t forget the toilet paper next time I go there to explore.

Who am I kidding? Since it’s been so long since my last exploration, I’ll probably fall into a deeper catatonic state and forget the toilet paper and the toothpaste. But again, does my house really need more of either of those? Damn you Target!