the barefoot contessa i am not

As you’ve read, we’ve recently moved and all of us are trying to find our new friends. I’ve now got a handful I can call for drinks or dinner, and I’m really starting to meet some of the moms in the neighborhood. I’ve even received an invite to a party. YEAH me!

Only one problem: it’s a RECIPE party. I mean great for me cause I’ll come home with a ton of ideas. But I don’t cook. I’m pretty sure I can’t. I have a physical limitation in the kitchen. Maybe it’s my attention span or lack thereof, maybe it’s my lack of patience, maybe I’m just lazy. What have you, I simply don’t cook. Can’t seem to do the dishes either. (Yes, my husband rocks!)

My old friends know I’m famous for one thing, it was MY thing to bring to parties and if we are all honest with each other we’ll admit they were a requested item at every party and often the first thing to go (ok, who’s gonna vouch for me here? And do I need to bring up whose Nestle TollHouse break & bake cookies won the street party cookie bakeoff?? Do I? Do I?)

What’s the famous ott mama party dish?? White trash weiners Pigs in a blanket. Yep, that’s right. I buy weiners. I buy cresent rolls. I cut the cresent rolls. I wrap the weiners. I bake them. I serve them with fancy mustard.

I can’t show up at this party with my white trash weiners pigs in a blanket, can I? Oh the pressure…

I did a shout out to my old friends as only they would greatly appreciate my conundrum and laugh at with me. They are also gonna be the ones to help me out! Otherwise there’s always Ina Garten. Yeh, even I know who she is.

One of my dear, dear friends sent me this BRILLIANT idea after I explained my predicament. I believe I’ve found my recipe!  Watch out new friends….I’m obviously meant to bring some sorta hot dog/weiner item. Apparently it’s my calling:

My sister-in-law sends me and many of her new neighbors a recipe chain letter to our e-mail. I ignore it, my husband doesn’t and replies to all with my name and the following recipe – you might want to bring it to your party!

HOT Mayo Dog
Take one hot dog out of the package, put it in the microwave on a microwave safe 
dish and cover it with one napkin. Cook on high for 43 seconds. Remove a hotdog 
bun from the bag, open it up so that there is a slot that you can put the hot 
dog into. Be sure not to spread the bun to far apart or it may split in half. 
Spread mayonnaise on both sides of the bun and put four slices of Jalapeno 
peppers on each side of the bun (make sure that there is enough mayo so that the 
Jalapenos stay in place – you may have to push them into the bun a little). Put 
hot dog into middle of bun and close. If you prefer an even hotter mayo dog, 
instead of microwaving, you can pour the jalapeno juice from the jalapeno jar 
into a pot and boil the hot dog in the juice. MMMMMMMMMM

3 thoughts on “the barefoot contessa i am not

  1. You can do this one. It makes you and house smell better than anything CHANEL can provide. Mario and Rocco will be envious – especially over how easy it is.
    1 deep dish pie shell – I use the refrigerated Pillsbury ones in a red box found over with the Hungry Jack biscuits!
    3-4 medium tomatoes or 5 roma tomatoes
    1.5 cups shredded mozzarella
    1 cup loosely packed basil leaves
    3 cloves of garlic – more or less to your taste
    3-4 ounces grated Parmesan cheese – to taste basically
    1/2 – 3/4 cup mayo – fat free doesn’t do too well in my opinion… go for the good stuff (which is Duke’s if you’re from the South…)

    1. Preheat oven to 500 degrees
    2. Cut up and drain the tomatoes on paper towels (get rid of excess moisture) – salt & pepper them to taste
    3. Bake empty pie shell for about 10 mins to lightly brown it
    4. Reduce heat to 375 degrees
    5. Put half of the mozzarella in the bottom of the pie shell
    6. Place sliced up tomatoes in pie shell – fill up the shell
    7. Put basil and garlic into a food processor and pulse it a few times so it’s all mixed up and rather coarsely chopped
    8. Smear basil and garlic over the top of the tomatoes
    9. Combine the mayo, remaining half of the mozzarella cheese and parmesan cheese together
    10. Smear on top of the basil / tomatoes. Ensure entire pie is covered to the edges.
    11. Bake for about 35 mins

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