Here, in this grand new city of mine, we have not seen the sun in approximately 438 days. It’s just an approximation and the actual number may be 3-4 days, but it feels like 438. And we all know how it feels is way more important than any actual truth.
I stare out the window. And I stare. Staring. Nope. Still no sun. Just gray and some horribly, ugly, super wet white crap now gathers on roofs and edges of the yard. Just enough to be annoying. You can’t even see any of those “beautiful, every one is unique” flakes “gently floating in from the heavens.”
It’s just Wet. Dark. and Crappy. Just like me. Well at least the dark and crappy part!
I NEED TO SEE THE SUN. I need to see the sun so much so that if I don’t, I fear there may be ramifications that cause me to be committed.
I might, hypothetically, sit around all day and only have the energy to watch The Millionaire Matchmaker marathon that Bravo is kindly running just for me. (never watched it before, probably gonna hate it. probably gonna watch the whole damn thing)
I might, hypothetically, not shower for 2-3 days. Or until the sun shines again.
I might, hypothetically, eat a couple bags of hershey’s kisses wondering when, just when, it will feel like I ate a full candy bar. (Hypothetically, I bet the answer is hours later and it may feel just slightly more than 1 candy bar.)
I might, hypothetically, keep the blinds closed in my office, pretend I work in a cocoon and get a serious case of the denials.
I might, hypothetically, see the sun on my iphone app as the weather for today, combust into tears of excitement and drop to the floor weeping in the fetal position. I might, hypothetically, remain in this position for hours.
I might, hypothetically, google search for my local weatherman’s phone number, strategically stalk him all day long with gentle reminders to look outside as his forecast for today was wrong, wrong, wrong.
I might, hypothetically, forget that I moved away from the “Rust Belt City on the Lake” that didn’t see the sun for 4 months to warmer, sunnier climates. I might, hypothetically, forget there’s nothing here warmer or sunnier.
I might, hypothetically, run to Costco today to buy the exact same Happy Light that my genius neighbor bought yesterday so both our houses and ourselves can glow our usual sunny glow.
I might, hypothetically, come up with hypotheticals all day long.
Until they come to take me away! They’re coming to take me away. Oh my. They’re coming to take me away. Oh MY. They’re coming to take me…..
But on a serious note: HOLY CRAP!! WHERE IS THE SUN???