all i got for christmas is…fat

It’s not quite Christmas yet and let me tell you I’m packing on the pounds. You with me? The egg nog, the cookies, the restaurants between shopping, the egg nog, then the egg nog followed up with some cookies on my way to the Olive Garden.  After all, it is right next to the mall.

Okay, let’s be honest. I don’t go to the mall. It’s one place I loathe. Kinda like the gym. And I try not to go to the Olive Garden. Mostly cause there’s usually a 45 minute wait and I. DON’T. UNDERSTAND. WHY! The food’s really not that good people. Really. It’s like Rice-a-Roni served among ferns.

Christmas is days away and I’m totally convinced I can roll into the house in a Santa suit and no one would be the wiser.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa’s here. And damn she’s looking fat hott!