am i *allowed* to wear these?

Is it a requirement that I do yoga to be *allowed* to wear black yoga pants? (I don’t mean to discriminate by color but I don’t see anyone wearing any other color.)

It seems to me that I am required to wear yoga pants if I wanna look like one of the cool girls at:

1. Whole Foods

2. Starbucks

3. Target

(FYI – those are the places cool girls shop)

This weekend, I made my way to Whole Foods and it got me thinking. I looked around at my fellow shoppers and shouted “You all can’t really be doing yoga!” A few other random thoughts I may or may not have shouted:

1. Damn, she definitely does yoga.

2. That other She, on the other hand, requires a much longer t-shirt. Just like I’m modeling. Unfortunately for all of us, she isn’t.

3. Really? You’re all doing yoga? Really? Are you all driving Suburbans too?

Or are you just like me? Me who, a few weeks after the holidays, puts anything requiring a button in front of my muffin top and it screams in agony “STOP, I can’t breathe. Please find something with elastic and elastic ONLY!” Deep breaths, deep breaths.

I’ve tried yoga a couple of times. I can stretch my body real fine, and yes it feels good. My mind on the other hand doesn’t rest. I know, I know. This simply means I need more yoga. K. I hear ya. Now on to my next thought.

I wear yoga pants cuz they are comfortable. Not cuz I’m heading to a yoga class at 10 am after hitting up Starbucks and Whole Foods after filling up my Suburban. My body is fearful of buttons. I wear a t-shirt to cover my backside so as to not scare my fellow shoppers. And for that, you are welcome.

I also drive a minivan, may not shower every day, own 2 dogs that I don’t walk regularly and I haven’t been to the gym in about 6 months. Maybe 12 months. Whatever!

Go ahead and judge. Cuz I’m wearing my yoga pants like I just don’t care!