the cough

If you came upon this post by searching “cough and turn your head,” you’re gonna be sorely disappointed by the content. This is just a mom, in the burbs, posting about a cough.

A cough from hell mind you. A cough that started, maybe, probably, with my 7 year old son. This morning it moved on to one of the dogs. Now the vets of the world will probably tell me this isn’t the same virus, but nonetheless, this cough is destroying our family.

Let’s start with the son. The 7 year old boy that repeatedly coughs into the wild, blue yonder. Each time forgetting to “COVER HIS DAMN MOUTH!” Again, pretty sure this is how the dog got it. The 7 year old boy that sneezes and 4 inches of snot hangs from his nose. Really? You’re disgusting. Whose kid are you? Cause I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna claim you looking like that. “GO BLOW YOUR NOSE!”

Then I started hacking. Okay maybe just a little tickle, followed by some force, in an attempt to “produce” whatever that is in my throat. (INSERT INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT HERE.)

And then came last Friday night. Will’s still hacking with random stuff coming out of his nose. And then Magnus starts hacking and vomiting up foamy, white stuff.  Who’s Magnus you ask?

Let me introduce you to the 2 dogs in The Ott House. First, there’s Magnus.

Named by my husband after the infamous Strongest Man in the World, Magnus Ver Magnusson (no I didn’t know the source of the name at the time), Magnus is the strongest dog in all the land. As obviously illustrated by the above photo. If you come to our house, he will bark wildly at you. He will then sniff you many, many times, then assume this same position. He is wildly active. As the strongest dog in the land. He’s about 9 years old. And has a cough.

Then there’s Samson. Our puppy. He’s about 4 years old and upon rescuing him, I was sure he’d turn into some kinda Husky thing with his gorg blue eyes.

He’s now nothing but hound. With huge ears and gorg blue eyes. He’s the dog that will kill you with kisses and don’t you dare ask him to lay on the floor. Apparently it’s against his nature.

What’s this all gotta do with the cough? Well Magnus is coughing. More like a hack. Like something is caught in his throat. Followed by some white, foamy stuff out his mouth. You’re right. DISGUSTING! I called the vet on Friday and they didn’t seem too concerned. His energy level was high, he was still eating. Wait it out they said. Call us Monday if needed. OMG! I wanted to call the Emergency Vet Clinic on Sunday. The coughing, the hacking, the cleaning up of little piles of white, foamy stuff. Will in the background sneezing 4 inches of snot. UNCLE! Someone puh-lease save me!!

I called the vet this am and they had an opening in approx. 10 minutes. Perfect, cause I didn’t shower yesterday, I’m still in my pj’s and sure I can get there in 10 mins. I throw on some clothes, throw Magnus in the van and we are on our way.

Then, what’s that smell??  Of course you took a shit in the van! Perrrrfect! Cause I wanna drive with the windows down when it’s 30 degrees outside. Mmmm, breezy and a little fresh air to clean out my sinuses.  We get to the clinic, I grab a bag, clean up the shit and in we go.

Vet diagnoses him with kennel cough. Which is super contagious. Which is great since we have a 2nd dog, remember? She’s asks if they are buds. Yes, Samson likes to lick Magnus on the teeth. In his mouth. I’m not kidding. To which she replies, “Yeah, we won’t be doing that!” To which I replied “Oh really. Are you coming home with me to keep them separated?” (CUE The Offspring….gotta keep ’em sep-AH-rated. Duhhn du dunnn)

I’m sent home with antibiotics, a cough suppressant and instructions to keep the dogs separated. All before 9 am. Sa-weet! I’m totally rocking this day off.

Dear Will – if you sneeze today and I even see any snot coming out your nose, Mommy’s gonna teach you how to chug a bottle of wine. Watch closely. Your wife might need these same talents someday. Most wives do!