that time the plane didn’t land

To keep you up to date on my glamorous travel, the last time we spoke I informed you of an upcoming flight with Delta. It was a doozy (fancy suburban word!) so let me tell you just how it went.

I almost thought the entire trip was material-less meaning nothing odd happened and it was gonna be a trip that didn’t get blogged. It was all of the usual suspects…airport, easy travel there, uneventful meetings, nice overnight at the hotel with little to no responsibilities, another day of meetings, on-time departure flight, security line a little long but no matter, time to slam a beer at the airport Friday’s and on my way home I head.

All on-time, gonna land as expected, in time for bed and goodnight kisses. Look at me! Super-MOM, balancing (PS – I hate that word) all my worldly responsibilities.

As we approach the landing, I’m deep into my Fortune magazine (I read glamorous things like that!) learning all about Nike’s new approach to marketing…mostly social, not much traditional. During the day, I play the role of marketer in Corporate America so these kinda articles still fascinate me. And those on the plane around me are super fascinated by my smart-i-ness! I can see it on their faces.

But now we’re landing. Seatbacks and tray tables are in their upright and locked positions. As we are approaching, I glance out the window provided by my window seat to see how close we are to landing. I can see the truck drivers as we fly over the Interstate as we continue our approach. And there’s the runway.

Next step is gonna be touch down so I turn my head back to my reading.

Except we don’t land. Instead of going the couple extra feet down, all we feel is a quick jerk up. And up and up and up! WAIT. Landing means down. We are going back UP. Wheels and everything. Back up.

There’s mostly silence on the plane as we are all processing what’s happening. You see heads turning toward each other but not much is said.  I simply say to the guy next me, “uummmm, this kinda feels like the wrong direction.” Yes, I am snarky in all situations!

The wheels have come back up and we begin to circle around. Mind you we’ve heard nothing from the flight crew so of course all of us are *subtly* wondering, umm WTF! Followed by a WWWWTTTTTFFFFFF!

As we make our way back into the flight pattern, the flight attendant comes on to tell us “these things can happen for many reasons. Air traffic control, heavy traffic.”

I’ve got a window seat. I’ve landed at this airport way more times than I can count. If I look out my handy dandy window, I can see mayBE one other plane on the approach. It’s also late enough for me to know not a whole lot is leaving this airport this time of night as we are no longer any kinda hub. And 2/3s of our airport is permanently shut down. Not. much. leaving. = not heavy traffic. (Remember, I’m reading Fortune and I’m super smart!)

Tell me another Ms. Flight Attendant!

My head goes to the only logical place it can when this happens in really good weather. HOLY CRAP our ass was about to hit someone/something!! I’m in a little commuter jet and I almost became a news story. Holy crap!

It’s time to change my underwear.

Next go’round we land safely and make our way to the gate. Never a peep from the pilots. We all get off the plane and then have to stand in this goat rodeo…

the okay corral

Isn’t there some really smart person in logistics that can find a much, much better way to do this? Maybe someone in logistics that reads Fortune? Just sayin’

I make my way home, give the family some extra, extra long hugs and of course, post on Facebook that I just experienced an aborted landing and shat my pants thanks to Delta. The comments start flying in from a few others that have experienced similar, a couple with pilot connections that said “hells to the yes, you were about to hit something so that’s why they abort” and others that say “oh that’s why the seat was wet when I got on the flight.”

Yes, that’s why.  You sat in someone’s shat after a tramatic flight experience. Enjoy your flight!!

My mom saw my FB post so had to call and hear my voice. I told her I’m fine and home safe with my husband and kids. My dad traveled a crapton (fancy suburban word) when I was a kid so I asked him if he’d ever experienced an aborted landing.

“OH yeah. I’ve had brakes catch on fire, engines catch on fire when thrown in reverse, plane hit by lightning.”

Okay, you win! Good talk.

I’m not traveling for a while, at least nothing glamorous on the calendar, personal or professional, for a few weeks. Which is just fine with me as that last landing officially wore me out!

I’m looking forward to staying at home for a while….not showering, and enjoying my very own routines at home, both personal and professional. Reading Fortune and whatnot will have to wait until I am in public again!

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