my muffin top isn’t ready for this

What is up with this weather? I live in a Northern State, bordered by a Great Lake and it’s going to be 79 degrees here today. Today barely being the middle of March.

I do not know what to do with myself. My muffin top is not ready for t-shirts. Will it look odd when I keep wearing my hoodie or puffy vest in 80 degrees? Didn’t think so and probably best for everyone. You’re welcome.

And what if I were to wear shorts? You may mistake my legs for hairy flashlights. S-C-A-R-Y! Again, it’s the middle of March.  I should have at least 8 weeks until I have to bear my muffin top and show my legs to any of you!

What to DO??  Trauma.  Today may just be a *swimsuit top and baby-doll dress* day. Cause that’s what all the 39 year olds are wearing these days!

But until I decide just what to wear, I’ve got baby oil, sun-in and a foil blanket waiting for me in my backyard. That may at least help puhrt-ee up my legs. Anyone have some Nair handy?