i see a skull when i pee

We moved into our new house a little more than a year ago and like with most new things, you discover things you never noticed before as the days creep along.

One recent discovery kinda creeps me out. And when I say kinda, I mean a whole helluvalot, but I think it’d be expensive to fix so let’s talk this through together.

Here’s the sit-U-ation. My parents went away for a week’s vacation…No, that’s not it! The real situation: Here’s my view when I use the toilet in our master bath:

Innocent enough, right? Until you have reason to sit there a while (hypothetically) and your eyes start wandering. They start focusing in on the details. Then you see this staring back at you.

BOO! There’s a friggin’ skull in my bathroom tile. Staring me down each and every time I sit there. Hello, Privacy please! And now I can’t unsee him. He’s burned in my head and says hello (in a super creepy, eerie voice) each time I’m there. It’s the first thing my eyes see when I sit down and it’s quite tragic.

Possible solutions:

  • Color over him with a Sharpie, Crayola or watercolors. Maybe an airbrush.
  • Remove the tile and replace with new tile.
  • Become his friend by striking up a conversation, thereby no longer being frightened to use my own toilet. I’m in the right location anyway if he starts talking back to me!
  • Do not look down when peeing.
  • Close the bathroom door.

Now the solution may be as simple as closing the door. But who does that when their master bath is one big room and the other door is shut? Really, who does that?

I think watercolors may be my best option.