The Unicorn Lady

A couple of years ago, just before my 40th birthday, I decided to visit my sister in Germany for a week of zero responsibility and a little debauchery.  Oh, what a smart decision that turned out to be!

A little bit of naked sauna-ing, a whole lotta forcing Julie to hike, and maybe a little bit of imbibing. Maybe.

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Nakedness & steam = glorious!
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“I’m in you, Black Forest!”
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Death. 20 steps in…
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What Germany means to me!

But the true lasting memories are of Friedrich. Yes, him. Friedrich.

“Oh Julie! He sounds like such a strong, German man. Do you realize millions & millions of people will read this?  And then they will know??  About you & Friedrich…”

Throwing caution to the wind, I’m going to share Friedrich with you.

This is Friedrich.

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Yeh, I carried him around town! What’d you think I’d do? Make him walk??!

He’s the ridiculous, stuffed unicorn head I found on that trip to Germany and decided I HAD to bring home with me.

(Don’t get me started on the many conversations we had about whether to carry him on, OR pack him away and await the questions from Customs. He went in the suitcase. Well, the EXTRA suitcase my sister and brother in law donated to me, AND I was allowed back into the United States of America!)

Back to how we met…A local store had a whole pole post of them.

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Whole pole. Every side!

Cause that’s what they do in Germany.  They sell stuffed unicorn heads.

EVERYWHERE!

(Okay, here’s the part where my sister will argue “THIS ISN’T GERMANY! THIS ISN’T COMMON. WE DON’T HAVE UNICORN HEADS IN ALL OUR HOUSES” Whatever! It may have been just one store, but that’s like “everywhere”, no??!)

And the selection: You don’t like unicorns?  How about mastodons? What about buffalo? Butlers “Germany” has you covered!!

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Pick an animal. Any animal!
How could I not bring one home?  This is ridiculousness at it’s best.
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Shotgun!

However, what I didn’t realize in bringing Friedrich home with me was that from that day forth, I would be known as The Unicorn Lady.

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He hangs with me every day! (Hangs??! Get it?! Thanks. I’m here all day!!)

I got labeled.

In my attempt to bring home the most ridiculous souvenir I had ever seen, I am now The Unicorn Lady.  I am overwhelmed with unicorn “stuff” – gifts, images, mugs, masks…

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unicorn van
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Do I enjoy any of it?

Absolutely!

Why?

Cause it’s ridiculous, and I find hilarity in most ridiculous things.

To add to said ridiculousness, the entire family went to Germany this past summer and each of them came home with a head of their own. A shark. A boar’s head. And another unicorn.

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Why?

Cause these things are ridiculous. And I pride myself on teaching my family to enjoy ridiculous things! The husband is so proud of his boar’s head he hangs his proudly in his office to the “delight” of his co-workers!

But I’d like to be clear: I’m not some freak that loves unicorns.

I’m just some freak that likes stuffed unicorn heads from Germany for their absolute ridiculousness.

It’s a fine line, but CLEARLY two different kinds of “freak”!