It’s Not A TUH-MOR

Oh, but it was. A dermoid. My daughter was recently diagnosed with a dermoid in her eye. What the hell is a dermoid you ask? The doctor said it us so nonchalantly. Am I supposed to know what the hell a dermoid is?  I hadn’t a clue so I turned to my trusty pals Google & Wikipedia.

I’ll give you a minute to do that yourself.

NO. WAIT. DON’T! Cause already I did. And it’s BEYOND GROSS. (Here’s the part where I vomited in my mouth)

“A dermoid cyst is a teratoma of a cystic nature that contains an array of developmentally mature, solid tissues. It frequently consists of skinhair follicles, and sweat glands, while other commonly found components include clumps of long hair, pockets of sebumbloodfatbonenailsteetheyescartilage, and thyroid tissue.” -Wikipedia

You wanna see one? Here ya go:

RIGHT??! I wasn’t ready for that either!

When I became a mom I knew I should be prepared for cuts, bruises, the possible broken bone and random body fluids. But a tumor that grows hair and teeth inside? WTF? I thought that was only the stuff of front page stories for The National Enquirer.

This is what we could see in her eye. (I thank you Sweet Jesus for keeping whatever’s growing inside contained.)  No teeth. No hair. No nails or bone like structures for as far as the eye could see (HA. Get it??! See what I did there with m’words?!)

Anyway, we had this removed a couple of weeks ago. And I was a rock star.  I held her hand through the whole procedure, and I didn’t even vomit or pass out.  But eeewwww – GROSS! I’m gonna need some time to recover from this personal National Enquirer story.

Oh, how’s she, the actual patient, you ask?  She’s fine, too! I’ll go ahead and say she’s the true rockstar. And we do believe all hair, teeth and nails are now only growing where they should be.

Motherhood – can’t wait to see what you bring my way next!