Craziness. Silliness. Madness. Me.
Here’s where we can talk about all of it! But before we get too close. you should probably know the following about me so you can either love me or leave me:
1. I seldom eat vegetables. Unless they are on a pizza, part of a Chipotle burrito bowl or used as a vehicle to get some kinda tasty dip in mah’mouth.
2. I do not run. I do not jog. I do not enjoy the burn or the panting. But I have been accused of walking too fast. So there’s that.
3. Sometimes, on “Fridays,” I take an adult beverage to the bus stop to pick up my kids. But only to pick up the kids. Never in the morning. Never. And mostly, only Fridays. Mostly. When it’s warmish outside. Only.
4. My kids are amazing. At kicking my ass/wearing me out/causing naughty, naughty words to come out of my mouth. And I could NOT love them more!
5. I listen to
Justin Bieber Top 40 Music. Sometimes. But only when my daughter “makes me.” Ryan Seacrest can be found on my radio. But I would never, ever jam to any of the songs while driving all alone. Never. (Ever.)
6. I watch, and enjoy, reality TV. Also, Ellen. But pretty much can’t stand Oprah. Remember her?
7. I hate cooking, cleaning or anything classified as “domestic.” Take that Martha Stewart! BOOM…
8. Take a long look at my face. You’ll probably get a good idea of what I think of you and/or what you are saying.
9. But don’t look too closely. I suffer from dry skin and have these horribly deep lines between my under-maintained eye brows.
10. You may not like what I say. But I will probably say it anyway. You may laugh. Either cause you’re uncomfortable or in complete agreement. I’m okay with either.