1. I seldom eat vegetables. Unless they are on a pizza, part of a Chipotle burrito bowl or used as a vehicle to get some kinda tasty dip in mah’mouth.
2. I do not run. I do not jog. I do not enjoy the burn or the panting. But I have been accused of walking too fast. So there’s that.
3. My kids are amazing. At kicking my ass/wearing me out/causing naughty, naughty words to come out of my mouth. And I could NOT love them more!
4. I hate cooking, cleaning or anything classified as “domestic.” Take that Martha Stewart! BOOM…
5a. Take a long look at my face. You’ll probably get a good idea of what I think of you and/or what you are saying.
5b. But don’t look too closely. I suffer from dry skin and have these horribly deep lines between my under-maintained eye brows.